MISSION: Crunches, Cardio, and Candles

You know who I love? My Affiliated Agents.

You know who I don't love? Mean people.

It is with great sadness that I report to you all that the Secret Agent L project has had its first run-in with a Certifiable Jerk.

Yup. Just got word from Affiliated Agent O (whose mission is below), that her mission from last night was...


...DEFACED.

Today she went back to the scene of her mission to see if anybody had found her treat, only to find that someone had:

1) crumpled the gift bag
2) left the card (out of its envelope, as if it was just a piece of trash)
3) took the candle

Um, hello? Jerks-R-Us? You can have your employee back.

Can you imagine how disappointed Affiliated Agent O was to see her gift treated that way? Who would do such a thing? Affiliated Agent O was so excited about her mission. She even emailed me at the beginning of the day to tell me she was going to do it!

Nonetheless, I want to post this mission for you all to see. Because it was completed out of kindness, out of pure intentions. This post celebrates Affiliated Agent O.

Girl, we've got your back. And don't let this thoughtless person keep you from practicing kindness. It's moments like this that prove kindness really *is* needed in this world.

Date: Wednesday, 3 March 2010

Time: 3:30 p.m.

Location: Bridgeville LA Fitness, Locker 99, Women's locker room

In Affiliated Agent O's own words:

I stocked up on a ton of goodies last night, and then had to decide where I'd pull off my first mission. I wanted to do something creative and VERY surprising. Wrapping my gift up with help from a certain feline who was very eager to curl the ribbon...


...I decided I'd make the drop somewhere that I personally would really appreciate a little pick-me-up. The gym.

I hate going to the gym. I hate it as much as I hate eggnog, and that is a lot. And I know that I'm not the only one that dreads it (the gym, not the eggnog!), so it was my feeling that maybe leaving a special something in the locker room might be a nice motivator, a nice "glad you came" to start off someone's workout. What better gift to give a sweaty person than a nice candle they can go home and bubble bath it up with?


I have to say that I felt very sneaky entering the gym. I knew something no one else knew. I hoped that no one had super x-ray eyes to see inside my newly designated "agent tote." Gliding into the locker room sly like a fox, I took the surprise out of my bag, and tucked all of my belongings over top of it. I went and got sweaty myself, but not too sweaty, because I noticed a sudden influx of women heading for the locker room. I realized what time it was, knowing that many of the office buildings in the area would be letting out soon. I hopped off the treadmill, wiped it down, and headed back to the locker room, nervous that I'd be caught on my first try.

The area where locker 99 is located had two girls in it, no way I could pull this off with them around. So I hit the sauna, hoping they'd be gone when I was done. They were gone, but were replaced by a girl changing from work clothes to a gym outfit, which was very inconvenient. I couldn't pretend to fiddle with my phone long enough to not look suspicious so I went back to the sauna, realizing that this was going to be harder (and much sweatier) than I thought. After another 5 minutes had passed, I thought I'd peek out. This time, a woman was putting her belongings away, but my inner ninja told me to make a go of it. I slowly started putting on my coat, watching the lady out of the corner of my eye. She wasn't paying any attention, so I moved my bag and tried to snap some photos.

I had to be quick, and couldn't really get a good angle without being busted. After 5 "click clicks" of the camera, I figured enough was enough, that if I didn't hurry I'd surely be caught. I closed the locker, smiled at the woman, and went on my way. The deed was done, and I really hope that someone is enjoying that candle because it smelled really, really fabo!

Nasty Person: if you've stumbled onto this post, please know that your unkind and thoughtless actions really hurt us. I hope you'll be less selfish next time someone tries to show you some kindness.

Affiliated Agent O: WE LOVE YOU.